Glosse: Das Streiflicht

(SZ) On the evening after the general election, there was something almost daring by CDU/CSU standards when Friedrich Merz announced that before work began the next day, there could be "Rambo-Zambo" in the Adenauer House. Rambo-Zambo? This is probably something similar to Remmodemmo or Hallogallo - a riot, in any case, like Robert Habeck probably had in mind when he threatened in the Kreuzberg festival hall that the cameras would be taped over from 10 p.m. After that, he said, there would be partying until the eyes watered, and indeed, many eyes did water, although not all of them from partying.

In terms of style, Rambo-Zambo is probably close to the “Polonaise Blankenese”, where, as is well known, “the holes fly out of the cheese”. If similar shocks had occurred during the Union’s Rambo-Zambo on Sunday, it would have affected German kitchens too, although this time not the cheese compartment, but the wall cupboards in which we keep our cups. Cups tend to clink during Rambo-Zambo, but only when they are actually in the cupboard. Which brings us to Merz’s announcement that he would make politics for the majority of the population that still has all its cups in the cupboard. This leads to a very special set theory, which incidentally applies not only to us Germans, but to all peoples, with the possible exception of those who have no cups. According to this theory, the majority of Germans firmly believe that they have all their cups in the cupboard; at the same time, they swear that the majority of Germans do not have all their cups in the cupboard. The overlap of majorities is not beneficial to the character of the people, and Merz will do well to strive for a speedy and fair solution to the cups-in-the-cupboard paradox as chancellor.

If Rambo-Zambo is what it sounds like, namely a riot, it almost automatically leads to the assumption that the intention was, as was common in the past, to get one over on the spirit world, the uncanny and the latently threatening. And what did they want to protect themselves from? Those who know the CDU/CSU soul (yes, there is one!) think it is likely that it was Alice Weidel's persistently outstretched hand that they sought to escape from in the noisy celebration. It is no secret among Christians like the CDU/CSU that the outstretched hand does not only offer help and protection or beckon reconciliation. They know their Bible, the Book of Exodus, in which the Lord says that he will stretch out his hand and strike Egypt with all kinds of miracles. The more alert among them could interpret this to mean that they may also experience a nasty surprise from Weidel's outstretched hand.