An asteroid called Bernabéu

No matter how richly you live, you end up, or have ended up cursing at some point what you have done to your life. Or at least you have had the feeling that you have wasted your time (a comfortable and complacent life is that paradoxical). If what you hate is the opposite, that is, what life has done to you, it is that your existence has not been comfortable at all. Neither materially nor emotionally speaking.

In both cases, the solution is a meteorite that never ends up falling to Earth. There was hope in December, when it was announced that there was a possibility that one would fall at the end of 2032. But those who had shown their joy on social media about the impact were disappointed to learn that the probability of impact of asteroid 2024 YR4 has experienced the same evolution as the illegal commissions of Convergència: first 1%, because of the timid beginnings; then 3%, the big years, and a residual 0.001% finally after the cat was out of the bag. Milei recommended investing in the meteorite and it collapsed.

“Sorry, we just got rejected by an asteroid”; “It’s because we showed too much interest and it got bored”; “It gave us the cold shoulder.” Users on X give up all hope, despite having every reason to demand that we become extinct.

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Starting with the fact that some people always use the Bernabéu as a universal unit of measurement. How many Bernabéus would the 31 million pigs in Spain fill with excrement every year? Answer: 62 . All the ash expelled by the La Palma volcano? Well, it would cover twice the height of the Bernabéu. A zeppelin is a Bernabéu. The flood leaves 207,000 million litres of water in the Júcar reservoirs. And how much is that, excuse me, I'm not clear? 207 Bernabéus, sir . The latest? The asteroid. Its size is still not clear. Between 40 and 90 metres, say the experts. But it doesn't matter, what does it matter, it's also the size of a Bernabéu .

The Madrid stadium, @dmartinezpr notes, is what Pacma is in every election: the ideal unit of measurement to gauge the failure of a political party.

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Mars seems to be the solution to escape. The Internet user imagines himself an astronaut. There, on the red planet. He has had to swallow his revolutionary principles to be part of the passenger of one of the rockets of that multimillionaire nationalist who names his children after asteroids. But he needed to disconnect. “Finally, a little peace,” he thinks sitting on a rock that was once part of a Bernabéu that threatened the Earth. “Mars is flat,” a Martian interrupts him. Here we are again...

Better to stay at home. There will be no asteroid, there will be no meteorite and the only one who has been hit here is Ayuso's boyfriend, a cameraman. At home, yes, better. Football night, Barça-Atleti with @xavinoriguis , who is clear: "This team has balls like sixty Bernabéus fans."

Oh God. [image or embed]

— Manchu Pelican ( @mortimerfu.bsky.social ) February 25, 2025, at 8:48 p.m.