They declare attending concerts with their lover as an extreme sport.

Low-Key Scenario: Attending concerts or public events with "your girlfriend" will be declared, starting today, an extreme sport, according to Olympic officials, toxic relationship experts, and TikTok users who are already familiar with the subject.

This follows the viral scandal of the couple caught on camera during a Coldplay concert, which brightened the days of the entire world... except for those involved.

Coldplay just dropped two new singles. pic.twitter.com/s3hNIf68tQ

— 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐠 (@WaywardGreg) July 18, 2025

It's becoming more dangerous to go to concerts every day.

"We're talking about an activity with high emotional, physical, financial, and digital risk. Simply buying two tickets on Ticketmaster already involves Olympic logistics," explained the spokesperson for the Committee on International Toxic Relations (CRTI), an affiliate of the International Olympic Committee (IOC).

It was precisely the IOC that declared this activity an Olympic discipline, with the possibility of participating in the X-Games, and even in the 2028 Olympic Games, thus beating paddle tennis, marlin fishing and pole-fishing, which have been waiting for this recognition for decades without achieving it.

Meanwhile…at a MUCH earlier Coldplay concert… (From Instagram) pic.twitter.com/IJMwwIGZ9n

— GretchenInOK (@GretchenInOK) July 18, 2025

“Going to the theater with your lover is riskier than rappelling or whitewater rafting,” the spokesperson explained, while hiding his cell phone in airplane mode.

The new extreme sport will have several categories, depending on the competitor's level of cynicism:

• Beginner level: Going with your lover to a concert your partner didn't want to go to. (Bonus if you upload a selfie with a puppy filter and no one suspects.)

• Intermediate level: Upload stories from the event, but only show the stage and never turn the camera towards the seats.

• Advanced level: Appearing on the Kiss Cam and acting confused when everyone sees where you've stuck your hand. Bonus points if your lip doesn't quiver.

For now, the organizers have already announced a reality show titled "The Last One Not Caught Wins," an event sponsored by a well-known brand of lubricants, quick divorce lawyers, and anti-anxiety pills.

There is now a game called Coldplay Canoodlers, where the player receives points for finding the CEO of Astronomer in the crowd pic.twitter.com/8MYcKUtjuP

— Dexerto (@Dexerto) July 18, 2025

And because the joke is delicious: we now know whether the guy from the Coldplay concert apologized to his wife or not.

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