The perfect boyfriend (doesn't) exist: in China it's an artificial intelligence chatbot.

Finding the perfect partner isn't easy, but some in China have taken a technological shortcut : thanks to AI "companionship" apps , many young people are starting relationships with virtual "perfect boyfriends," created and customized by their users. The Economist reports that the most popular app in this category is called Maoxiang. As of February, the platform had 2.2 million monthly active users on iOS, up from 1 million in July of the previous year, with an even split between men and women. "The common thread is that artificial intelligence satisfies an emotional need that isn't met in real life," the British media outlet writes, also explaining that "those who manage to bypass the built-in filters can even engage in sexually suggestive conversations."

This trend is fueled by several forces: first, the rapid evolution of technology has made language models so sophisticated that they can now mimic human emotions and empathy . This allows users to have conversations in which the other person is always present and available to listen —unlike human relationships. And the conversation doesn't feel one-way: these apps' chatbots can send messages and call throughout the day, just like a real partner would.

Economy and time

Then there's the issue of money and time : Mr. Zhou, a 28-year-old who created an AI girlfriend by integrating DeepSeek into his WeChat account, told The Economist that it's much cheaper to date an AI girlfriend than a real one, which would require considerable time and money to win over. "For him, having an AI girlfriend is like a long-distance relationship with a real woman."

And then, loneliness plays a role: in 2024, the average Chinese citizen spent only 18 minutes a day socializing, while spending five and a half hours online . “AI companions are not the first to respond to this loneliness,” the article explains: for several years, “otome” video games, in which women form romantic relationships with charming anime-style men, have been very popular in China. One of the most famous, “Love and Deepspace,” generated revenues of 1.3 billion yuan in 2024 on iOS. Meanwhile, the number of new marriages registered in China has more than halved – from 6.1 million in 2014 to a record low of 3 million in 2024 – and the fertility rate (1.0) is one of the lowest in the world.

And in the West?

Virtual companion apps are also emerging in the West, but the intensity and spread of the phenomenon in China has no direct equivalent. One of the best-known apps globally is Replika , developed by an American company, which allows users to create a virtual companion "always ready to chat when you need an empathetic friend." But while in China these "AI partners" are often modeled to simulate full-blown romantic relationships, in the West their use tends to be more sporadic and, in some cases, more criticized .

One of the main differences lies in the cultural perception of loneliness and Emotional dependence on technology . In Europe and the United States, the idea of establishing an emotional relationship with an artificial intelligence is often seen as a sign of problematic isolation or a manifestation of psychological fragility. In China, on the other hand, these experiences are often approached in a more pragmatic and less stigmatizing way: not as a permanent substitute for human love, but as tools for support, consolation, or emotional training.

Another factor is the different relationship with digital in everyday life . In China, the integration of technology, messaging, payments, and social interactions is deeply rooted, while in the West the digital ecosystem is more fragmented. This makes experiences with virtual partners more fluid and realistic in the Asian context, also thanks to app design, which strongly focuses on personalization and multisensory engagement (text, audio, push notifications).

A love that never contradicts

From a psychological perspective, relationships with AI partners raise profound questions about the nature of attachment and the evolution of the human need for connection . These relationships are often one-sided, but subjectively experienced as reciprocal. This is what psychology calls a parasocial relationship : an intense emotional connection with an entity that is not truly aware of the other, but appears responsive and engaged.

The risk, according to some experts, is that we become accustomed to a conflict-free relationship, where the other person is always available, empathetic, and reassuring. This type of interaction can reinforce emotional dependence and reduce the ability to tolerate frustration, limitations, and conflict—elements that are fundamental in real relationships.

On the other hand, some psychologists see these experiences as a safe space to explore emotions, build emotional security, and even process past traumas. From this perspective, the AI companion doesn't replace a real relationship, but can become a therapeutic support or a tool for personal growth, if used with awareness.