Marek Dyjak: I used all, I really used all, lifelines

Katarzyna Burzyńska-Sychowicz "Wprost": Has turning 50 changed anything?

Marek Dyjak: The number itself is probably not much, but in fact it is a state of, as the poet would say, lyrical disorientation.

A man is suspended between youth and old age, between love and longing – this type of dependency.

Is this a pleasant state or far from pleasant?

It's a strange state, but also a deeply creative one. Fifty years later, a man's wind begins to blow, a sense of peace begins to creep in… It's also a time of humiliation stemming from the fatigue of his material, from a lyricism that alternates with cynicism. These things can make life difficult for a person.

Does this state also smell of maturity?

Of course it is. I'd even say that in my case, it reeks not of maturity but of youthful old age, although fifty years isn't exactly a remarkable achievement, but believe me, I've done a lot in my life to avoid reaching fifty... I've used up all, I mean all, lifelines.

You were rather running away from life…

There are certain fears that accompany people, and I count myself among them… Fear of life – poets write about it in their poems, journalists write about it; I had it too. Today, however, I am pro-life; in fact, I have been pro-life for a long time now…