I just witnessed a weekend of crime in ‘lawless London’ - but none of it actually happened

At least, I think it was a crime. Hard to tell these days. Three young men raced along the concourse at London Bridge station and vaulted the ticket barriers, laughing as they went.

There were transport staff everywhere. None of them did a thing.

Nobody else seemed to notice. Hardened Londoners learn to block out this stuff out. I'd clearly gone soft in my absence.

I paid my fare anyway – like a mug. Aside from me and Robert Jenrick, everyone thinks that’s fine too.

That's hardly surprising. According to the BBC, if people do raise the issue they're encouraging vigilantes.

Next stop was my nearest Morrisons Local, to pick up some milk. That should have been a simple transaction, but nothing in London is simple now.

In the last year, my Norwegian partner visited our Morrisons half a dozen times at most. On three of them, she witnessed a shoplifter load up a basket and walk out like they owned the place. Not once did staff intervene.

It was as if the theft hadn’t happened. As if the crime only counts if someone makes a fuss, and nobody does.

Certainly not the police. In London, nobody expects them to turn up for shoplifting. So stores shrug, file the insurance claim and get on with it.

Luckily, nobody stole anything during the two minutes I was there. But the young staff sullenly completed my transaction from behind a reinforced glass screen, like this was 1970s New York.

Since when did that become normal?

Later, I sat in a Covent Garden pub and saw an e-bike drive sprawled across the road. I didn’t see what happened – and I doubt it was a crime – but it reminded me how risky these delivery riders often are.

On my trip home, on a quiet suburban street, a hooded youth on a tiny-wheeled electric scooter shot past me. He swerved across the junction, veered onto the wrong side of the road and darted straight in front of a couple crossing.

I thought he was just another idiot on the road. Then I heard the woman scream.

He’d snatched her phone and was gone. They gave chase – in flip-flops – but there was no hope of catching him.

I offered sympathy. It’s all I could do. The thief’s face was covered, despite the sweltering heat. Lots of youths cover their faces these days. Scared of Covid, I suppose.

"I'm just worried about my cards,” the woman said, trying to stay calm. She was shaken, but pretending it wasn’t a big deal.

I don’t blame her either. Processing something like that is hard. Best not dwell on it. Even better to deny it.

Which is exactly what people do. When I texted friends, they made jokes about “lawless London”, as if the whole thing was a tabloid invention.

Apparently, none of this is happening. Even when you see it with your own eyes.

This morning I Googled “lawless London” and found an article by Dave Hill, a former Guardian journalist who now edits the On London website. He poured scorn on the whole idea.

Hill said the claim that “Sadiq Khan’s London” is uniquely awash with crime is a fiction. Not only that, it’s part of a far-right agenda to discredit the left-wing Mayor.

People who claim crime is on the rise are fuelling “conspiracy theories” and “sinister nationalist agendas”, apparently.

I wasn't following a sinister nationalist agenda yesterday. I was just going home.

But maybe Hill is right. Maybe I shouldn’t mention it.

Back at my flat, I bumped into the new tenants in the flat below, a young Indian couple who'd just moved to London and were really excited by it all. I wondered whether to warn them against phone theft, but decided not to burst their bubble.

Best pretend none of it happened. That seems to be the London way.